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She is not a ‘BABE’ or a ‘CHICK’ - She is aBREASTED AMERICAN. ‘2. She is not ‘EASY’ - She is ‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.’3. She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE’ - She is a ‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.’4. She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ - She is a ‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’5. She does not ‘NAG’ you - She becomes ‘VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’6. She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’ - She is a ‘LOW COST PROVIDER.’HOW TO SPEAK ABOUTMENAND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:1. He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ - He has developed a ‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’2. He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ - He is ‘OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’3 ... He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ - He ‘INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’4. He is not ‘BALDING’ - He is in ‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’5. He does not act like a’TOTAL ASS’- He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’(Loved this one!)6. It’s not his’CRACK’you see hanging out of his pants - It’s ‘TROUSER CLEAVAGE.’This is likely a repeat but it is worth a re-read“As good as this bar. As the two walked along it looked as if a son was picking hisfather up at the airport. A few might have noticed the small diamondearring in Tim's pierced left ear but they didn't know that the earringwas part of a matched set, the right lobe pierced in similar fashion satempty. With the crowds of men and women now nearby and moving about theydidn't pick up on the slightly floral fragrance that floated around Timand in his sturdy cowboy boots with the crowd and all they didn't noticethe mincing step or the slight sway in his walk as he accompanied Tedfrom the building. The practiced sway that was reduced by the cowboyboots could only have come from much practice in wearing in wearing muchhigher heels!Under the baseball cap that hid the thinned, trimmed and sculptedeyebrows, past the light brown hair that curled slightly at the shouldersand framed the fine smooth hairless features of Tim's face there was morethat even a careful observer of human nature would have missed.
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